Angelina

Ballerina

Welcome to LOL. A reader supported publication. Each week we feature a children’s book, a creative essay, and fun edits to inspire your own artful curation at home.

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This week’s LOL is for all my girlie girls. Prepare to be dazzled!

I spent about 9k woman-hours on this one, and due to life, I have to save all Angelina-inspired home, and adult finds for a part 2! I promise I will get it to you soon <3

Meanwhile, at the end of this week’s LOL you’ll find an extra special vintage angelina haul! Enjoy, friends. May we all spread ballerina magic this holiday season.

Oh, and hey! This post may contain affiliate links and I’m SO proud of myself for achieving that! Thank you for supporting my work.

FANFAIRE!

LOL PROUDLY PRESENTS…

ANGELINA BALLERINA

by Katharine Holabird and Helen Craig

A beloved tale about harnessing energy.

MOTHERHOOD

by Angelina Ballerina

Oh man, I hated ballet class.

The memories of my five years young IBS tummy standing awkwardly aware that I wasn’t the star nor the understudy still crawl behind my eyes.

What am I doing wrong?

A beautiful studio. Pristine tights. Matching ribbons. An emotionally resilient 60-something woman waiting patiently to discover my arms and legs don’t communicate.

The point is, no one asked me to be good. All I had to do was enjoy it.

But no. I didn’t. Not at all.

It wasn’t just the shameful congealing of bumper car knees. Joints slipping sideways instead of forward. A thick, fat, stiff, sack unable to pull my frame into sense. The flutter of tulle had more control of itself than me. Still does.

It wasn’t just the pink breath. Flopping feet. Hair sticking out. The sugar plum fairies? Make it stop!

Not just the disjointed, the mediocrity, the intensity of failing into my own body while watching so many girls thrive in front of me; their nourished tummies flowing in time.

Thin tights stuck to wet sweat. Forcing my baby chunk body into a leotard, spandex ‘round shoulders, shoving one arm at a time. A rubber band snapping the gut.

It was all so fucking uncomfortable. But more than any of this. I just remember a pervasive ice-cold sensation.

My chills haunt me even more than watching my own insecurity play out in a giant mirror the length of a building.

But stocking feet are nice, huh? A smooth, unnatural moment.

Maybe this is what a mousling feels like when they glide inside the studio rafters. Climbing. Flipping. Dancing warm in the walls together with their babies.

Mice have all the luck.

Mice wouldn’t notice the string cheese smell of the lavender nylon bag outfitted with my name and a drawing of bubble pink pointe shoes i’d never wear.

But I think now, why would I want to? Ouch.

Ballerinas were mostly underage sex workers that “gentlemen” groomed and kept as pets. And painted. And everyone made money off of their bodies except them.

5,6,7,8

and all of them could move so fluid. Look at these stars, huh?

…

Do you remember the bone-cracking, freezing ick of getting picked up from dance class at 6:45pm on a Wednesday night?

Oh, it’s a flowy, glowy memory for you? Giggles and wiggles?

Did the same parent always pick you up?

And they took you and all the other glittering stars for pizza and ice cream to celebrate that your upcoming vacation to Aruba would be so fun?

And you floated to a domine-smelling home with fresh baked cheddar bunnies at the door?

And you twirled upstairs to your room — the one you’ve slept in since you were a babe and the stickers you hid in the walls sing you to sleep, right?

Not me. After ballet, I was always stuck on a sidewalk or in a lobby with an overtired, malnourished teacher/dancer who smelled like cherries and couldn’t lie fast enough to soothe me.

So by the time it was my turn to chassé out the heavy doors and into the street I was cold. Really fucking cold.

And couldn’t warm up.

No matter whose leather seats my awkward ass slid around on I can only remember my bitter teeth. It’s a rawness you can’t fix with heat. I needed something deep that had escaped my chest in so many waves my blood was thin.

I think I understand now —

The Importance of Warmth

It’s funny because I’m thinking about ballet studios and dance spaces— they aren’t warm institutions, huh?

The idea isn’t come in here and cuddle in the nook of art. Create!

The idea is more like suffer and torture and twist yourself into a pretzel for our entertainment! Who gives a fuck if you’re shivering. Swallow it. It’s less calories than twix.

The ad for Ballet Class: Come in child. Gain poise, grace, respect, discipline, a purpose, and friendships that last a lifetime. Ever been under a spotlight? It’s divine purpose.

The real ad for Ballet Class:

Hey, baby. Do you like to work so hard your toenails peel off? Do you enjoy squeezing your growing body into shapes that are only accessible to .2% of the human race, mostly based on genetics? What is an arch, you ask? Ah, do you walk on air? No? Just the ground?

You poor thing. Let’s fix that.

Here, climb up your own foot, bend your bones, and show us how you walk on air, bitch.

And spin and spin and spin and spin — find your light — and spin and spin — find your light! Look here. Now, spin and spin and spin —

I didn’t take ballet for long, but I can’t remember why I stopped —

KYW. NEWS RADIO. 10 60…on your dial news and traffic on the tens.

I’m in the backseat in someone’s car in Philadelphia…

My head hangs so all I see is the pulsing rhythm of street lights passing over my tights

That wet, repetitive glare of Philadelphia streetlights haunts me something bad

street lights look a lot like spotlights

…

spotlight wind spotlight wind spotlight wind stop

red lights over my tights

click, click, click of the turn signal

now, neon green lights over my tights

spotlight wind spotlight wind spotlight —

“I don’t want to go to ballet anymore”

…

“Why?”

…

“It’s boring”

red lights over my tights

…

“Oh, Jilly… Fine. Just shhh I’m listening to the traffic report.”

faster.

spotlight wind spotlight wind spotlight

“Where are we going?”

My toddler is 2.5 today and I am chewing my cuticles in the passengers seat driving to her first ballet recital …

Twisted into a pretzel so I can get a good look, I study her in the backseat.

She seems curious to spin under a spotlight. Maybe because she’s warm enough? You know what? Next year, I’ll be sure to ask if she wants to sign up for ballet again.

And if she says,

“No, mommy. It’s boring.”

I’ll know what she really means, and I’ll take her right home for some…

CHEDDAR BUNNIES

by Angelina Ballerina

The perfect snack for your tiny dancer <3

Listen, these are 4 ingredients (plus salt), cheaper than the boxed crap, an easy pick me up for your “I’m a good mom” self, a fun activity to do with your kid, and babe you can do it!

okay so, preheat your oven to 325 and line a baking tray with parchment paper

got it? Now —

Pulse 8oz / 1 cup of sharp cheddar cheese (grated), 1 cup of flour, 1/4 cup of cold butter (cubed), and 1/2 teaspoon salt in a food processor — or mix by hand — add in 2 tablespoons of cold whole milk.

Roll out your dough on a floured surface.

For crunchy crackers that snap, roll out your dough THIN, like 1/8 inch and then cut it into bunnies!

Put all your bunnies on the baking tray and poke little happy faces in them if you want to keep them from puffing up :))

Optional: Top with flakes of sea salt

Bake for 18-20 min and eat ‘em up with your babe ! They last about 3 days in an airtight container.

To make them you’ll need:

1. Sharp Cheddar Cheese

2. Unsalted Butter

3. Baking Salt

4. All Purpose or Enikorn Flour

5. Whole Milk

6. Bunny Cookie Cutters

7. Finishing Sea Salt

8. Wood Rolling Pin

How to have your babe help: Let babe pour in the measured flour, salt, etc. Give ‘em a big-ol’ wooden spoon and let lil’ babe mix it! Let it spill everywhere !

Once it’s a dough, give babe a ball of it and their own rolling pin and cookie cutters to make their own crackers!

If you’re worried about bacteria in the dough going in their mouth pop that shit in the microwave for 3min and it will cook out anything yucky.

No one gives a shit what these look like or if they ever get done. Make a mess. Have fun. Clean later.

Just make sure your babe isn’t wearing their new ballet costume…

TINY DANCER

by Angelina Ballerina

1. Vintage 50's Pink Ballet Bubble Tutu Puffy Skirt - size S/M

2. Pink velvet bonnet

3. Aunti M’s Girls Vintage Cardigan Sz Medium

4. Bloch girls Girls Contoursoft Adaptatoe Tights

5. Tutu du Monde Girls Pink Fairy Wand

6. Vintage Shabby Chic Girls Pink Ballet Tutu Costume ($$$)

7. Dusty Pink Leather Girl T-Bar Shoes

1. Vintage Handmade Knit Beige Baby Sweater 4T with Heart Buttons

2. La Merle's Dance Recital Costume, 1970

3. Tiny Pink Ruffly Tutu

4. Princess Aurora Purple Ballet Dance Camisole Tutu Leotard size 4

5. Vtg 40s/50s Girls Stage Dance Mini Dress Puff Sleeves Petticoat Satin Organdy

6. Gil Rodriguez Kids Long Sleeve Via Olympia Unitard

1. Vintage Little Red Riding Hood Ballet Tutu ($$$)

2. Vintage 50s red satin sequin tulle kids dance costume

3. 2PCS Red Velvet Bows

4. Stelle Girls' Ultra Soft Pro Dance Tight

5. Little Girls Peppermint Christmas Recital Tutu

6. Girls Revolution Dancewear Roses Lyrical Ballet

7. Bloch Unisex-Child Dance Shoe

1. Dancina Girls Long Sleeve Tutu Ballet Dress

2. Girls' long-sleeve pointelle-knit T-shirt

3. Vtg Girls Dance Costume Bodysuit Recital Retro Tutu 60s (needs buttons)

4. Stelle Ballet Shoes

5. Vintage 40s 50s pink tensile sequin girls dance costume one piece

6. 2PCS Black Velvet Bows

7. Bloch Girls Della Knit Leg Warmers

8. Pink Toddler Tutu and Tights

9. Satin Scrunchies Set of 12

10. Pink Ballet Shoes Satin Ballerina Slippers (not pictured)

11. Vintage Ballet Ballerina Tutu & Slippers Tulle Set 80s purple White Costume 3T 4T (not pictured)

12. Vintage Curtain Call Costume Purple Ballet Dance Costume - Size Girl’s 6 (not pictured)

13. Vintage Romantic Ballet Tutu Child LARGE Dance TUTU (not pictured)

GIFTS FOR MOUSLINGS

by Angelina Ballerina

1. Vintage Russ Troll Doll

2. vintage pink Ballerina fabric tutu with sequins on hanger ornament

3. Vintage Penny Black Rubber Stamp

4. Vintage Ballet Dancer Paper Dolls

5. Vintage Barbie #989 Ballerina

6. Circus mouse

7. Full Color Tom Tierney Russian Ballet Vintage Pavlova & Nijinsky Paper Dolls

8. Lot 10 Vintage Hallmark Kid's Thank You Envelopes & Stickers

9. NEW 1996 SUGAR PLUM FAIRY NUTCRACKER BALLERINA BARBIE DOLL

10. The Ballet Book 1971 Ginny Linville Winter VTG Dance Softcover Kids Book

VINTAGE ANGELINA BALLERINA

by Angelina Ballerina

1. Angelina Ballerina Storybook Blocks

2. Angelina Ballerina Ballet Doll Plush 10 in. Jointed Arms Legs 1983

3. American Girl 2004 Angelina Ballerina & Pierrot Clown Mouse Plush + Book

4. American Girl Angelina Ballerina White Mouse Doll & Clothes Lot

5. Angelina Ballerina mouse Polly Doll & Pram in original box

6. ANGELINA BALLERINA by American Girl Stage

7. Angelina Ballerina American Girl Doll STORYBOOK COTTAGE

8. Angelina Ballerina 4 Book SET!!!

PART TWO COMING SOON!!!

We got our copy of Angelina Ballerina from our local kids resale store seesaw!

ps. I’ve done a fair amount googling “ballet/ballerina” etc and this came up and OMFG i’m really not sure if it was the flame thrower, the “you killed my father,” or referencing Keanu as baba yaga (!) but im peeing my pants in horror at whatever the fuck bunch of dudes are behind this brand new pile of garbage. i read my hero and yours emerald fennell was hired as a consultant at some point?! Yuck. I hope that pay check brings you all the happiness girl.