The Monster
at the End of This Book
THE MONSTER AT THE END OF THIS BOOK
by Jon Stone and Michael Smollin
“In early ’71, during Sesame Street’s second season, Jon Stone boarded a cross-country flight with a yellow legal pad and an anxious mind (he hated flying).
By the time the wheels kissed the tarmac in California he’d written The Monster at the End of This Book.”
Jon Stone, the first head writer for Sesame Street, and one of the show's directors and producers for 24 years, had created a masterpiece out of angst.
Anxiety into art.
The Monster at the End of This Book is often credited as one of the first meta books for children and it has inspired a generation of artists.
Including lovable, furry, old, me.
MOTHERHOOD
by The Monster at the End of This Book
Did I just call myself an artist??
UGHHHH
I am feeling so much shame about this “mom blog.” Yes, the one you’re currently reading.
PLEASE DON’T READ ON! THIS IS EMBARRASSING!
My recent intrusive thoughts about this blog in no particular order:
Are people rolling their eyes when they read this? Do I come across obnoxious? Am I obnoxious? Am I wasting my time? Will people think I’m mentally ill? Will people read this and not want to be my friend? Will they think I’m lame? Am I lame?
Why can’t I write in a straightforward, concrete, technical, and easily digestible way? Why is my writing so weird? Why am I so weird?
Who gives a shit what I think? I am not good at ANYTHING. I shouldn’t spend my time writing this. I’m a loser! I’m a failed artist. I’m a terrible writer.
PEOPLE CAN TELL I’M A TERRIBLE WRITER BECAUSE THEY ARE READING THIS!
STOP READING THIS!!!!
UGHHHH
You are right, I should be using this time to read to my kids, or workout, or support a friend, or my community, or lose weight, or exercise, or get a job writing. Yes.
…
THINGS I CAN WRITE:
Meta one-act plays, movies that are never made, TV pilots that are never made, short films based on the worst parts of my life, bad poems, journal entries about my feelings, chaotic rants aka monologues, long emotional text messages about my opinions and feelings that I sometimes stop myself from sending, and silly songs narrating mundane life for my kids.
I can also write unproductive emails.
Oh! and to-do lists that never end.
—
MY TO-DO LIST THIS WEEK:
My whole identity is being a mom. I’m not even good at being a mom.
No, wait, that was an intrusive thought. See? I can’t even write this!
TO DO LIST THIS WEEK:
get: a job.
make: a scarecrow (check), troll clips, a puppet theater, cheddar cheese-itz, collagen marshmallows, sense.
buy: lil’ warm boots for school, lil’ big girl bed, large ziplock bags, a house.
do: find voice note of mommom from 8 years ago since she said something important I can’t remember from before she lost her memory, put out candles for bath time, walk, apologize to all the moms I’ve shamed.
…
Recently, I read another mom writer’s thoughts on writing about motherhood on substack and while I really enjoyed the read I was overwhelmed with shame afterwards. So much so that I wanted to quit this mom blog.
Then I remembered no one is even asking me to write this mom blog and quitting felt so self-serious that I LOL’d at myself!
But then I thought —
Isn’t it wild how easily women can shame one another without even trying?
Did I shame you recently? Was it something I said? Or didn’t say? Was it something I did? Or didn’t do? Did I shame you just by finding time to write this sentence? I understand. If I did shame you, I’m sorry.
Anyway, I read this other writer mom’s thoughts about how she feels shame about writing about being a mom and now I feel stupid about Library of Love aka LOL and about being a failed artist with no identity other than being a mom!
Is shame contagious?
I’m spiraling so bad I thought I poisoned my husband with chicken sausage I cooked and then boiled for over an hour.
…
Hey, before you jump for your phone to text me that I’m not a crappy writer or a flaming pile of garbage as an artist — I gotta tell you — you can’t help me with any of these bad feelings.
I wish you could and I really appreciate the thought but —
The praise and soothing I need isn’t external. It’s something that can only come from inside me. That’s Sesame Street 101, baby!
So, who is the monster at the end of this blog?
MY TERRIBLE ART! BOO!
But the thing is, my terrible art is also how I soothe myself through life, and it feels good even if…
Take it away Grover!
HIGH AND LOW
by The Monster at the End of This Book
Sesame Street GROVER Hot Air Balloon Preschool Puzzle, Vintage 70s Playskool Sesame Street Wood Puzzle, Sesame Street Bubbles, Vintage Baby Wall Decor : Sesame Street, Cookie Monster & Betty Lou, Vintage Baby Wall Decor : Sesame Street, Ernie & Bert, Vintage 1973 Playskool & Sesame Street 9 piece wood puzzle
FIRST AND LAST
by The Monster at the End of This Book
SESAME STREET SESAME STREET: sesame disco!, Vintage Sesame street 7" record Kermit and Grover sing BEIN GREEN, I AM BLUE, (1974) Vinyl LP Sesame Street - Grover Sings the Blues, The Sesame Street Monsters! – A Musical Monster-osity, The Stars Come Out On Sesame Street, 2018 Grover’s Greatest LP
In Harmony - A Sesame Street Record
OVER UNDER AROUND AND THROUGH
by The Monster at the End of This Book
Buy up all these and these to make the coolest custom installation for your kids room!
1978 Sesame Street Muppets Flash Cards Number & Shape, Sesame Street see and know Shape Cards, Vintage Sesame Street Jim Hanson's muppets 1978 'See and Know' Word Cards, Vintage Sesame Street Preschool See & Know Cards
SEEING STARS
by The Monster at the End of This Book
Doing Good Table Cloth, The Amazing Glowing Stars Collection, Manning Jacket Star Suede, Childrens Moon and Stars Wool Slippers, Meri Meri Gold Star Taper Candles, Lola + The Boys Jogger Set, LuluLuvs Rainbow Star Clips, Angel Dear French Terry Jogger Set, Doing Goods Star Frame
Wooden star box lamp, Nununu All Inked Knit Cardigan, Numero 74 Star Lamp | Dusty Pink S007, Babe and Tess Little Star Shirt, kiko+ & gg*Tanabata Cookies Star Dominos, Kids Worldwide Socks, Kids Worldwide All Over Space Sweat
BUILDING
by The Monster at the End of This Book
Background: Handmade Wooden Building Tool Set
Vintage Wood Puzzle, Vtg 1940 Brucken Baukesten Germany Building Block Set New In Box, Wooden Threading Lacing Toy, Moulin Roty Wooden Tool Box, Moulin Roty Suitcase - Handyman Tool Set , Melissa & Doug Standard Unit Solid-Wood Building Blocks
LOVEABLE FURRY OLD GROVER
by The Monster at the End of This Book
1971 Grover Sesame Street Matted Vintage 8x10 Print , Grover Puppet, VTG & Modern LOT 18 Sesame Street Muppets Grover Plush Dolls , 1971 Grover Sesame Street Matted Vintage 8x10 Print, Sesame Street - Grover Head Kids Knit Mittens
BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE LETTER G
by The Monster at the End of This Book
Holztiger Goat, Googly Eyes Backpack, Grover’s Book Of Baby Animals, Homemade Glue, Hanging Ghosts, Heller Glasses, Glass Bead Croakie Chain , BONPOINT X IZIPIZI Lemon Juice Sunglasses, Northern Ice Gloves
GROVER COMES IN FROM THE COLD
by The Monster at the End of This Book
and now a special moment for…
THE END OF THIS LITTLE GOLDEN BOOK
by The Monster at the End of This Book
Our copy of The Monster at the End of This Book was gifted to us by my daddy Kenny in 1988! I love you!
Read all about Monster In The Mirror !